Greetings, citizens.
It is I, Detective Percival King. I am here to let you know that the new line of “Make” “Ship” dolls have been made and will, subsequently, be shipped.
But! There is a hangup. Someone must purchase the dolls before their shipment can commence. You have been selected for this task. I. Believe. In you. It has been said that the eyes are the window to the soul. As a show of my confidence in your abilities, I will now stare deep into your soul for seventeen unblinking seconds. Begin.
👁️👁️
Encouragement complete.
You may now commence the buying of the dolls. The Rick doll can be purchased at this hyperlink. The small facsimile of myself can fac-similarly be purchased at this second, equally clickable hyperlink.
Know that purchasing both dolls together will result in a discount of 10% on both. That’s a pretty penny for those with lonely pockets.
Also, please be advised that as per usual, these dolls are available for a limited time only. They are available until September 23rd, 2026. Once this date has passed, you will no longer be able to acquire them.
If, for whatever reason, you are not interested in analogue media, you can watch the commercial in “high-definition” on the Patreon free of charge.
Best of luck on your purchasing mission, citizen. I look forward to being placed on a mantle, a bookshelf, a bed, or perhaps simply left in a garage to be resold on a secondary website at a later date by scalpers.
— Det. Percival King
